ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
