Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
