im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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