i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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