he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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