trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
