Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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