Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
