You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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