So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Found your dick twin last night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
