what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
