no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
they need to just BURY HIM!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
