Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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