This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
