who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize