I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
