next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
