Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
