Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
These tits shall not be calmed
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
