Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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