I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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