By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
