I hate all girls vehemently.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
