that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
even my farts smell like vagina
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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