He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
