I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
