your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
where are you?
Hypothermia
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
