That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
