i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
