She is in my trunk
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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