the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
