if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize