This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
