just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
