They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You smell like stripper and shame
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
