If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
