Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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