I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We are two peas in an std pod
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
