Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
