I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
