I hope mine doesn't look like that
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
