My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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