her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
