Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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