It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
