I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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