I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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