last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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