How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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