Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
