I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Even my vagina gasped.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
