At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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