Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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