There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
