I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
