I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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