The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
