it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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