he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How does it feel to date your dad?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
