So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize