Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
